


Can't keep it inside

by twosugars



Category: Sherlock - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Johnlock - Freeform, Multi, Sherlock - Freeform, august osange county, dance lessons, dancing sherlock, so much damned angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-15
Updated: 2014-02-15
Packaged: 2018-01-12 14:01:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1187934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twosugars/pseuds/twosugars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock writes a song for John and Mary's first dance.<br/>"I'll sing to you for the rest of your life. The way I'm feeling, I can't keep it inside"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can't keep it inside

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by 'Can't keep it inside', a song that Benedict sung in August: Osange County that gives me major johnlock feelings so if you haven't already give it a listen :o)

 

“I wanted to make this composition somewhat personal.Apparently that's what people like... sentiment, or so I’ve been told.” Sherlock waved his hand dismissively while Ms Hudson and Molly exchanged humoured glances. “So, John,” He took a raggedy breath and forced the corners of his mouth into a tight smile, “and Mary, this is for you, the two of you.” Sherlock’s smile dropped as he took and elegant stride over towards the piano that stood upon the stage. He swung his legs over the slightly battered stool, perching almost uncomfortably on the velvet cushion. His fingers hovered above the keys and he turned his head and cast one last furtive look over his audience, taking in the sea of faces and then focusing his eyes in on the one that mattered most. John stood with his back completely straight, despite having one of his arms wrapped protectively around Mary’s waist, and Sherlock’s eyes misted over slightly. Soldier. He shot a supportive smile up towards the stage, giving Sherlock a slight nod of encouragement. Friend. Sherlock honed in his left hand, wincing at the band of gold that sat on John’s ring finger, he had to tear his eyes away. Husband.

 

When Sherlock’s slender fingers made contact with the keys the crowd descended into a hushed silence. Sherlock counted in his head, along time with the notes, and drew in a deep breath.

 

> **_Well I’ve never been a man of many words_ **

 

Mary curved her hand gently over John’s shoulder and met his eye she smiled up at him, a slight giggle bubbling up from her lips as she noted the concentration on her husband’s face as they took their first steps.

 

 

> **_And there’s nothing I could say that you haven’t heard_ **

 

Sherlock’s voice cracked as he remembered all the words he’d left unsaid, all the times he so badly wanted to tell John how he really felt. He shuddered and quickly composed himself, determinedly keeping the cheerful rhythm to his song.

 

 

> **_But I’ll sing you love songs ‘till the day I die_ **

 

As the voice of his best friend echoed all around him John felt a warm smile creep across his face. Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock bloody Holmes had written a love song. A _love_ song. John’s smile widened. Sociopath my arse. He drew Mary closer to him, feeling guilty that he was still thinking about Sherlock while they were having their first dance. But even so, despite his guilt, the Sherlock-induced smile didn’t falter.

 

 

> **_The way I’m feeling, I can’t keep it inside_ **

 

The reception guests cooed in admiration, and smiled in turn to the steely faced man with his back slightly hunched over a piano and the smiling man twirling his wife around the dance floor.

 

 

> **_I’ll sing a sweet serenade whenever you’re feeling sad_ **

 

Sherlock’s mask of icy indifference fell, as he allowed himself to get lost in the lyrics he’d so carefully chosen. For the second time his eyes began to turn cloudy with tears, and the memories that had inspired the melody flashed through his mind, dancing back and forth.

 

 

> **_And a lullaby each night before you go to bed_ **

 

John missed a step, and fumbled slightly. He swore he could hear a tone of sadness behind the jaunty notes that rang from the piano. He stole a glance upwards, towards the stage where Sherlock sat, his head bowed over the keys. The piercing eyes that John had grown to know focused intently on his dancing fingers. Neither man could see the emotion behind the other’s eyes. John looked back at Mary.

 

 

> **_I’ll sing to you for the rest of your life_ **

 

Sherlock raised his head and glimpsed at the dance floor. Sorrow swelled within him when he saw the couple spinning round, their hands intertwined and their feet moving in gentle synchronisation. Sherlock couldn’t draw his gaze away. His eyes followed John and Mary around the dance floor, and his fingers plodded along on autopilot. He noted each and every step they took, watching the smooth, black leather shoes lead the soft, pale heels around the floor.

 

 

> **_The way I’m feeling, I can’t keep it inside_ **

 

John raised his hand, allowing Mary to twirl gracefully away from him. Momentarily the watery, strikingly blue eyes met the darker, softer ones and in that instant everything came undone. Mary spun back into John, breaking the eye contact between the two men, but it was no longer his wife that danced in his arms.

* * *

_“For goodness sake John, that’s the sixteenth time you’ve stepped on my toes.” Sherlock huffed._

 

_“I’m so thrilled you’ve been counting.” John muttered sternly, raising his head and glaring into the familiar eyes of his consulting detective. Clearly not intimidated by his friend’s withering stare Sherlock guided John’s hand into a more comfortable position on his back,_

 

_“When I agreed to these lessons I expected you to have some dancing expertise.” Sherlock quipped, nimbly spinning John away from a precarious pile of books that threatened to be knocked over by his partner’s clumsy footwork._

 

_“Well, you promised to help me, so no backing out now.” John grinned, responding to the repositioning by holding Sherlock a little closer._

 

_“No,” Sherlock pondered carefully, “… no backing out now.” The two men smiled, and continued to sway peacefully around the hushed living room. The fire cast a warm glow around the flat, and the flattering light softened Sherlock’s firm features… or maybe that was just due to the company. “Seventeen!”_

 

_“Shut up.” John grumbled and, lost in the moment, he dipped Sherlock down then, upon realising what he’d just done, blushed slightly. “God, sorry,” He fumbled, trying not to stare too intently at Sherlock’s lips, “I was just… nevermind.”_

* * *

John shook his head, furrowing his brow as he pushed the vision of his waltzing lessons out of his head. He dropped his arm to dip Mary but he couldn’t bring himself to press a kiss on her lips. They rested in this position for a moment, Mary waiting expectantly and John blinking back the tears that promised to leak down his face.

 

 

> **_No, I can’t keep it inside…_ **

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading! I recently heard the song and upon replaying it again, and again, and again (over 207 times, actually tehe) this idea was born, and I couldn't stop thinking about it until I got it down! it's by no stretch of the imagination perfect, or incredibly written but I hope you enjoyed it, in all it's angsty, short glory, all the same!!!
> 
> I really want to get round to writing a something multi-chapter with a bit more ~substance~ and storyline but I'm the worlds laziest person, so it might never happen haha. thanks again, I appreciate every little kudo thank u ily


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